We finally got some sun this weekend, the weather was just perfect and sunny here. Off course it is 45 degrees and raining today. This weekend, my mother and sister helped me get the patio ready for the summer. They pulled out the chairs and purchased new cushions for the outside patio. Iqbal has to bring out the table from the garage but he does things on his time table, not mine. I learned in my 10 year of marriage that I cannot nag and force him to do things my way or when I need it because it will never get done and we will end up in a fight. So I learned the next best way to get things done by him....cook him his favorite meal (anything with rice and meat), Kabob and a khalwa does it too.
If that doesn't work, I tell Nina to nag her baba (always works because he adores her). Before she was born, he was worried that he would not love a daughter. You know the culture thing where we love our sons more then our daughters. He had also had made his mind up that his daughter was not going to go to college and will get married early. Well, 7 years ago we had this beautiful, perfect, quite daughter who never cried. She smiled at everything. She slept through the nights at 3 months. This little girl wrapped him around her little finger soo tightly that his heart melts when she speaks. All his fear about loving her and not educating her went out the window! She loves him just as deeply as he loves her. She kisses him every chance she gets (when he is awake or a sleep). He loves the fact that she talks, talks, talks. She talks with her hands as if she is a 50 year old grandmother and she is super smart. I hope and pray that their relationship stay this strong and lovable during those critical and challenging time when she is a teenager. Last night, she put her arm around my neck and said "mommy, tell me about your life, tell me about your children, tell me about your husband". My only complaint against her is that she is a bag lady. OMG does she put everything (I mean everything, including junk mail) in bags and puts them in her room. That alone can be a few pages of this blog!
The family friend: My mom and I went to visit her because she went home from the hospital after four weeks. When we went over there, she had her nurse there. She looked good but I felt bad that she couldn't communicate with the nurses and doctors because her English was not good. It made me feel bad that she had to rely on her dad or sister to help her communicate her needs and feelings. I am grateful that she is here to get her treatment. I wish she had attended some schooling so she can learn English. There is soo much about this disease that has to be communicated directly with the doctor and not through someone else (i.e. how do you tell your father to tell the doctor that you want to freeze your eggs so you can have a baby someday? or how do you tell your dad to tell the doctor that you have blisters down there?). I can see her dad and mom are very supportive. She has a very good and extended family but I wish she had attending school before she had got married.
On flip side, my nurse sister made me realize that too much information could be a bad thing. The fact that she doesn't know everything could help her (while it drove me crazy, I googled everything, read every blog and bulletin). I offered her my support and told her I would there for her if she needed.
Moral of this post.....please, please, please educate your children. It will come in handy for them one day. We are not immortal and cannot always protect them, therefore we have to arm them with education to make their own decisions.