Wednesday, March 24, 2010

New Life

Hello Blog World:

I know it has been a long time but a lot has happened. First, I left Coca-Cola because I had enough of the treatment. Deep inside, the people who treated me wrong, will get their day. I can wait.

I accepted a great job with a great company, where I can showcase my talent and explore new ideas and move on.

Family life is good, except the husband job is not looking soo lucrative anymore and the stress of begin the sole bread winner is taking a toll. I am trying to make sure he doesn't feel bad that his wife is supporting him but I am sure he feels it.

Health wise -- doing great! No sign of the big C after two years. The hair came in great! the Boobs look good (minus the scars)! I have been super sensitive in what I put in my mouth or what my kids eat (no more can foods in my house).

For me -- I got myself a great new BMW to celebrate my Birthday! Felt good to pay cash for a car and not take a loan! The next goal is to pay off the house.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Missing in Action -- sorry

Dear all:

I am sorry that I have been missing in action but life took over for a little bit and I returned to work The first week of July.

Cancer stuff:
The hair is growing back thick and curly. I can finally style it and it looks good. I have been working to out to get healthy and lose some weight (not working). I have been being super healthy with what my family puts in their mouth. I started to see a therapist to help me deal with the depression that hit after treatment was done. I did not realize how much bullshit we push a side when we go into survival mode. It is also very scary to not see the doctor on a weekly basis like I have been doing for the past 15 months. I have to learn to deal with the "how you are doing now comment" that I get all the time. If you want advice from me, please do not ask a friend who was battling cancer the following:

1. "how are you doing now". We hate this! We want to shout back and say "well, we are not dead yet". Just ignore the question. Say something like, I am excited to see you.

2. Don't say "great hair cut"....we did not have a choice. Say something like, you look great, love how you are making this work...

3. Do not say "wow, you gained weight in your stomach"....we know we have. We do not need you to tell us.

4. Do not tell us about the family or friend who went through the same thing.

Personal life:
Having some issues with work stuff. Very stressed out about some bad advice I was given. I hope it is resolved by end of July. I hate living in limbo land. Found a tick in my daughter's head. Very worried that it doesn't turn into that "target" sign or Lime disease.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Saying Good bye to a friend

Today I say good bye to my friend Karen Graham. When I posted on 4/25 that I had just saw her and admired her strength, I didn't realize I had to say good bye to her this soon.

Her passing is hitting me like a ton of bricks! Part sad because I lost a good friend. Part because she lost her battle to Cancer and she considered herself a Breast Cancer Survivor for the past five years. She was the strongest, toughest woman I had come across.

I am scared this is my fate but as my sister and husband has told me that as Muslim my death is destined and will go when it is my time. I know that is easy to say but when you are faced with mortality as I have it gets scary. I am not scare of dieing, I am sad that I will not see my kids grow up. I am sad that Karen wanted to dance at her grandchildren's wedding and now she won't.

They say people come into your life for a reason, I know why she came into my life.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

To my friend Karen Graham

Last night my mom and I went to a Cancer Gala to support a friend Karen Graham who was diagnosed with Breast Cancer five years ago. She is third generation with breast cancer, she lost her mother and grandmother to this. In the past five years, she has gone through more then anyone I know. The cancer has spread to her Lungs and now her brain. Seeing her at this event with her husband holding her oxygen meds and she still week from the hospital stay a few days ago, made me realize what a fighter she really is. As weak and beaten as she was, she got up and danced a slow dance with her husband (no Afghan woman will do that when released from the hospital two days earlier).

A little history on how Karen and I met. I was her client and her sales force called on me. Part of my job is to negotiate the very best ad price for her station. So when I would go back to her sales group and tell them to redo the numbers, I would get a call from Karen and would strong arm to accept the rate she was selling. She was the one sales manager that I had night sweats about talking to because I could never have the right numbers or history to win a negotiation round. She was the strongest, toughest little woman I had ever met. She did scare me a little.

When I got diagnosed I called her and told her I didn't know what I was doing and I needed help. She got in her car and met me at an Ice-cream shop in Cherry Hill and over ice-cream she talked all the fear out of me. She handed me a scarf and teached me how to wear a scarf on my head when my hair falls out. She handed me books and inspirational bag to help me get through this. She let me cry and she understood every fear I had. After my friend Sharon, she was the next call I would make every time I was lost or scared. Their strength, religious believe and positive outlook on this deadly disease made me get through my terrible year.

While going through everything she is going through, she still helps the newly diagnosed girls. So once again, I am asking all of you out there to send a prayer to her because she wants to see and dance at her twin granddaughters wedding!

Karen - thank you for being there for me, I hope you allow me to be there for you!