I cannot sleep!

The past few nights I am not able to sleep. Last night, I kept waking my poor husband and asking him if he was awake. The good husband that he is, would say "yes I am awake" between snores. He told me to close my eyes and try to sleep -- as if he was talking to our 6 year old. When I sleep, I have these terrible dreams, so I just stay up and watch tv. Thank god for HBO and Showtime!

How did I get blessed to have someone like him by my side? The last few days with everything going on at work - he has stopped his world to make me happy. For him to call and ask me if I want to go out to dinner is a major indication that he is worried about me.

Today I shared with him my decision for us after surgery. He did the most amazing thing. He took my by the hand to next room (away from the kids) and sat me down. He said, I am your husband. It is my responsibility to feed you, shelter you and make you happy. He said, as long as I can work physically and mentally, I am going to take care of you and the kids. You don't ever have to worry about it. The only thing he asks for return is the silly, loud and "Carey" girl he loves back. (side note, our favorite tv show was King of Queens, he always thought my attitude was like Carey on the show. A girl who goes through life with the middle finger to anyone who does not like her way of life). I never doubted that he couldn't take care of me. I just never allowed him -- call it giving up control. Something I don't do very often.

On the home front. Laundry got done. During dinner, the kids were fighting over who gets the "cool" cup. I got so mad that I threw the cup out the back door. Off course, Nina cried and tried get her Baba to go get it. Sami got upset and said he is going to throw my blackberry out the door. Iqbal just laughed and said, kids -- mom is back.

Hamid and I Went to Bed / Bath and Beyond and looked at the Wedge pillow. It was not what I wanted. I am going to see if the medical store will rent me the hospital bed tomorrow. I reached out to a friend who had the same surgery a few months ago. She was on her way to a Sixer game and said she will call me tomorrow. I need to pick her brain on what helped her get through this.

I wish everyone the relationship I have with my husband. It took us 10 years to get to this stage. For those of you in an arranged marriage (today's culture) -- it does work! You have to be able to let go and give to get back!